About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
