Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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