There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
