Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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