Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
