went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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