Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
