We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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