Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize