You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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