He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
