I wannas sexs uuuuu
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
