There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
