Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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