In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
