Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
