oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
