Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
