i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
