this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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