Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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