Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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