I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
