and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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