Do you still have your period?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Randomize
