Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
