I wanna bring you to show and tell
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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