i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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