i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
