I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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