I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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