I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Randomize
