ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize