he wants to bone in the snuggie
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
