Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
