If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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