you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
