I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
