how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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