I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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