someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
