new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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