Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
