ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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