I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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