if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize