"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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