Having a random hookup so left but love u
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
