I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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