apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
