Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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