I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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