The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
