Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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