so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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