he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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