i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
