Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
