Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
