no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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